Just like the world of the living, the realm of the dead has been buzzing with talk of one thing; the return of José Mourinho. The former Chelsea boss has stated his desire to return to the Premier League at the end of the current campaign.
“I want to come back to England. I’m not the kind of guy to keep his feelings hidden,” stated the Internazionale boss. “I have always said the same – I love it here, I love it here, I love it here.”
So with excitement mounting about the possibility of someone with an actual personality returning to the Premiership, I was besieged by my fellow spirits wailing and moaning for an opportunity to tell In Off The Ghost what they thought about the Special One.
However, In Off The Ghost was only interested in hearing the opinion of one man. Like Mourinho, he too is a Special One. Just like José’s Champions League win with Porto, he too has performed miracles with meagre resources. He also has a good deal of experience with second comings. Yes you guessed it, the King himself, Elvis Presley!
‘Although I would love more than anyone to see José back in the Premier League, I would warn against making grand comebacks.’ said Presley, in his sultry southern drawl.
‘Yeah sure, it is great at first. Your name up in lights again, fans going wild, all the fast food you can eat. But you soon find out that it just ain’t the same as the first time. Everyone is out to get you. Suspicious minds are everywhere and they are gunning for the King. I got fat. I started wearing ridiculous suits and I ended up playing shows out in the middle of nowhere. I would hate to see that happen to Mourinho.’
Although there is no suggestion that José would take up a job in the North East, and his dress sense is still as sharp as ever, Mourinho should still take these words of warning seriously. After the tender love he received from Chelsea fans during his first stint in English football, he might find that fans can indeed be cruel to a heart that’s true.
(All material in this blog is entirely fictional and does not represent the views or opinions of anyone, alive or dead, other than those of the author.)